What would matter today if you knew that today would be your last and tomorrow you would not wake up? I asked myself this question and my answer rocked me.
This letter was really hard to wright and opened up feelings which I had buried for a long time. It made me sit still and really think about where I am and what I am and what I could be. I would encourage anyone who is serious about creating a better more meaningful life to do this.
I share my letter with you in the hope to inspire you to wright one of your own.
Here is my letter:
Dear Willem,
It is with mixed feelings that I’m writing to you. Looking back at the last 34 years I feel both satisfied and dissatisfied.
I am very satisfied with the family that I had. I had great parents who brought me up excellently, I had the best wife I could ever had wished for and together we had three absolutely awesome children. Elzaane thank you very much for the 9 years of married life and the 7 years before marriage which I had the absolute privilege of sharing with you. I had a blast. If ever I would be given a choice to do it again I would definitely do it with you again. Liham you are now 5, I am very proud of you, thank you for lighting up my life. You are our first child and you changed our lives totally and all for the good. Righardt you are now 4, I am very proud of you, thank you for inspiring me. You are our second child and your fighting spirit inspired me every day. Lize I am thankful beyond words for the privilege I had of meeting you. You are now 4 weeks old and you are perfect. You are the most beautiful girl I ever met. I was privileged to have been a father to the three of you and I believe that you are capable of everything that you will ever wish to do in the future.
I am very satisfied with the decision I made to come to the family farm 5 years ago. This was a really tough decision, because ever since my parents moved to the farm when I was 15, the input from outside had been that I was just not cut out for farming. So I believed this for a while, but on the 1st of December 2012 I made a very good decision to move back to the farm and face my fears. I did well.
I am very satisfied with the decision to open a cycle shop with a partner in 2010. I made many mistakes, but for the experience I am ever grateful.
Time spent with family and friends was precious, especially time spent in nature away from the home and with minimal facilities.
I unfortunately allowed myself to be trapped by the “box system”. By that I mean finish school, get a degree, get a job, work really hard and then sometime in the future you would arrive at the destination. The thing is though that the destination can never be reached, because the more you get the more you want. I now definitely know that this is not how you find happiness, peace and joy. Real life never happens in safety and security.
- I could have given more hugs.
- I could have listened better.
- I could have given more.
- I could have laughed more.
- I could have cried more.
- I could have sung more.
- I could have loved more.
- Never once in my life did I find any long lasting real joy and happiness from money.
- I could have worked less and spent more time with my family.
- I could have cared less of what people think of me.
- I could have lived with much less personal belongings.
- It was a real pleasure to have lived these 34 years and I am thankful for each moment. For what I’ve learnt I am truly thankful.
If I was to be given another 34 years, I would:
- live the present moment to the maximum,
- quit trying to ensure safety and security at the cost of the present moment,
- be bold about what I believe,
- trust more,
- focus on creating time for those who matter to me, rather than focusing on making money for those who matter to me,
- give hugs freely,
- take myself less seriously,
- invest in others more freely,
- face my fears daily and
- live with absolute faith.
Stop trying to impress Willem and be who you are without limits!
